enlightened motherhood, among other things – thought-provoking things to think about… :)
What would you do? Real-World Defense Tips…
While scrolling through my news feed on Facebook, a post from an old acquaintance caught my eye… I found it so interesting that I sent him a private message to learn more, and this is what I found out… If you’re a female you should absolutely read on. This post may be somewhat long, but I promise that this guy is entertaining and the topic is serious enough to spend some time on! “Joe” has requested to be kept anonymous. However, if you would like more information, please contact me and I can get you in touch with him. Enjoy! I literally laughed out loud when reading… Be advised, there is a bit of profanity!
Here’s the original post that caused me to inquire further…
“Disclaimer: I hate violence & refuse to put it into the world.
Hello NYC BASED friends. This is directed, at least in its initial intention, mainly towards my FEMALE friends & I assume mainly Artists. If you ever worry or think about matters in regards to your safety, please take a minute to read this if you will. THIS IS FOR YOU! Aspects of this post may make some people uncomfortable. READ it THROUGH.
I’ll be very straightforward. As you very well may or may NOT (I try my best not to talk about it too much) know. I have a particular side-passion & skill set secondary to the arts. That being: I’ve spent a very long time (still do & always will. Currently about 15 hours a week) training & studying with some of the SCARIEST folks in the world in what I like to call “conflict resolution”. Mainly in regards to UNEXPECTED REAL LIFE VIOLENCE. Other people tend to refer to this as “self defense” or “martial arts”. I don’t teach nor am I looking to nor do I “compete”. What I do isn’t ring or competition based (no disrespect to sport fighters, whom I respect) I deal EXCLUSIVELY with scenarios that are LIFE & DEATH. So no rules. Less “15 rounds & a ref”, more “someone’s broken into your house or trying to rape someone you love or you or kill you”. The things you never want to encounter.
Basically, although a pacifist, I have a tremendous skill & knowledge of violence.
What I do mainly assumes surprise scenario + multiple attackers who are looking to do you harm. Since 5’11 & 157 pounds (aka not a large man) I generally need to also assume I’m fighting multiple people much LARGER than I am.
Now here’s where YOU come in. When this topic has come up I refuse to discuss it with bros looking to get good at bar fights. HOWEVER, the people who actually ask me the most questions tend to be WOMEN. At one point I found that surprising. As it happens to be the case though, artists, of ALL sorts, tend to be very beautiful. Maybe physically, but also energetically because they tend to be very present. Aka, you often notice them. Be they actresses/dancers/or w.e. We, as artists, also tend to work REALLY late nights (walking home late). AND, to not have a ton of money, a.k.a., living in REEEALLY cool neighborhoods where maaaybe you don’t want to be walking home alone when you ARE. I have so many female friends who have been assaulted in a myriad of ways. & female friends who are worried about it. Lots of scary stuff on t.v. & most “female self defense” classes are BULLSHIT because they teach bad kickboxing & try to baby women & not make them uncomfortable by exposing them to violence. Which is terrifying. This is heinous, especially since the women taking them don’t know it, quite probably, won’t help. At all. Thus it puts them at risk.
I have has DOZENS of friends who I’ve taught or discussed this with who have asked if I’d set up a class. But, I know people in NYC have trouble with FOLLOW THROUGH. People don’t like reaching out or showing up.
So, here’s the pitch: If any of my friends, or YOUR friends, friends of your friends, whether we’re close or just acquaintances or have never met, would be interested in meeting at some point, probably at Ripley Grier, send me a message saying “interested”. It wouldn’t be re-occurring cause I have no interest in starting a “class” or “group”. It wouldn’t be a fitness class. & I don’t need your money nor am I looking to make any, so it’d be free. No catch. This is FOR all the women who have asked me. Not for ME. If any guys are interested for the RIGHT REASONS (no machismo) then I’d be glad to have you too. And if any girls doubt that anything I say might work, please feel free to bring one or several of your biggest guy friends and Ill use them as examples. I weigh 157. Bring your 200 pound friends if you’d like to see the proof in the pudding.
I leave for two months to travel, visit family, & do a play starting in July. If anyone wants this to happen FOR REAL. We’ve got June. If not no stress.
The End. Lots of love to everyone.”
Now, here’s the conversation we had over private messages…
Me: “Hey Joe, I am interested in learning more about real-world safety. Do you know of anything in Miami? Or have any links/websites with more information you could share?
I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing… Have you learned anything about keeping children safe in dangerous situations? I’m always afraid someone is going to sneak up on me and my daughter getting into our car one day. I keep a pink taser on me, but don’t know if I would be quick enough!”
Joe: “Hey there
I do NOT know of anything in Miami unfortunately.
Miami is more full of bros who want to take MMA and think it’s going to allow them to fight 10 guys simultaneously. So, the market dictates it.
And most women’s self-defense classes are nonsense because, in order to run a business, they need to convince women that there are things to continuously train. Which is…really…a lie.
Tasers are great… IF you can draw it and fire it and land it on the skin fast enough…
Defending kids are the same as defending anyone.
The no nonsense answer is, really, if someone attacks you and your daughter they just gave you legal permission to kill them. And, thus, unless they drop and there’s a chance to escape before that, that REALLY needs to be the GOAL. If they pass out first and you can run GREAT. But you can’t AIM for “pass out”.
If a guy has a gun or a knife it’s best to give him what he wants because you’re more good to your daughter alive.
But if the guy were to grab you…
I prefer you were carrying a pencil to a taser
Or a pen. Think less along the lines of “Kung fu” and more along the lines of “prison shank”. Otherwise called a shiff. Most guys in jail that get killed get killed with sharpened toothbrushes. Prison shanks.
I’d put it face down. Grab ON to the guy (give him a hug) so that you’re not within STRIKING (you’ll get knocked out) distance, and then, literally, just start hitting him with the bottom of your fist (that has the point of the pen or pencil facing down)
Sounds simplistic. But…it’s simple.
If you get into a striking contest you’ll die.
You’d be in insane danger no matter what. But, grab on to him and he loses striking power. Now, with nothing in your hands you’ll get tackled or slammed SURE
But, with something in your hands, you’ll open 12 holes in the guy’s face before he can bring you down
Just draw blood.
Other big advantage is ….they don’t know you.
Tell your daughter to run. And then…go….fucking….CRAZY
Me: “lol the last part made me crack up! But you made some excellent points. it would be much quicker to grab a pen (or the metal nail file with a sharp point that I just found in my car!) than to grab the taser, take it out of the holster, and get close enough without being taken out first… I’ve been watching re-runs of 24 for about a month now, which has given me a bit of a violent mindset just from the exposure. But I saw a man with his gun holstered today and it actually made my heart skip a beat, so I know I’m no Jack Bauer. But I do want to be prepared, or at least have a plan of what I may do when put in a scary situation. Thank you for your response! It really is wonderful that you’re bringing this important topic to light, especially for us good-looking females. 🙂
Would you mind if I posted your response to my blog? I’ll give you credit of course. I already forwarded your response along to some of my girlfriends…”
Joe: “Of course! I actually wasn’t done I just had to put the phone away cause I was getting a haircut!
You have an amazing advantage in that this man does NOT KNOW YOU. He is prepared for a victim who is SCARED. Even if you ARE scared, if you act like a rabid animal and Scream and claw and spit and shout….he is going to think twice. He does not KNOW you are scared. Why fill him in? And if you were carrying that pencil, and he still moves forward, you close that distance, I swear I do LITERALLY mean step in fast and HUG HIM, and then, tip of that pen down, just pound your fist wherever you feel or see soft tissue. And the more that’s THE FACE the better. The guy is made of flesh and blood. What happens if you stab a pencil into a steak? How hard is it to put a fork in a piece of chicken? You do it without using ANY pressure…and it’s the same stuff he’s made out of….now put in the pressure.
The sight of your own blood has a very specific effect on a fighter.
Any huge guy is calm around a girl…
But throw a squirrel with rabies on his face & I’ll bet you he FREAKS OUT. You are bigger than a squirrel.
I’m sorry if that sounds simplistic but I’m not there to SHOW you techniques. But, what I will be teaching mainly in this class will be IMPROVISED WEAPONS. Which is my specialty. Years of boxing (unimportant). Years of Krav Maga with Israeli Special Forces counter terrorism (a bit more important). Years or Kali Knife fighting (the most important). Stick fighting; and years of Keysi Fighting Method & DefenceLab. Plus some other things which are scary but irrelevant to this point. Moral of the story: weapons act as Equalizers for size and numbers. PERIOD. A guy comes at you and your daughter? IDEALLY? You shoot him directly in the face. Twice. Next level down = something to stab or a stick. And if you HAVE to use your hands, aim for the EYES, the NOSE, and the EARS. It is impossible to strengthen these points. Also…an interesting thing to keep in mind…lips are detachable. His as much as yours. Someone attacks you or your daughter? You DO NOT KNOW if this fuckhead is like that guy who just locked those women in his basement for 10 years. When it comes down to it, just cause damage. Guys aren’t as much stronger as you think. None of us are bullet or stab proof.
Violence sucks. But, someone attacks you or your daughter, then you are no longer Tara who likes to watch 24. You are a Lioness, or a Mother Bear, and you lose your mind, and you rip the guys fucking face off. Period.
Sorry to get crazy with it. But, that’s the reality of the situation.
You want to feel REALLY safe? Get a gun. Train with it. Get good at targeting. And get REALLY good at drawing it. Fast.
If you’re ANTIgun… Carry SOMETHING in your hands. If a guy asks you for your wallet or something and has a gun or knife, you may do it. If a guy tries to kidnap you or kill you: you MAY survive….you MAY not. But…he’s as human as you are. He has the same odds. ONE of you has to leave without being torn to pieces. Bet on yourself.
Easy test: buy a pumpkin. They are about 30 bazillion times harder than human skin. Take that file, or a pencil, or your cell phone (don’t break your phone lol) and see what you can poke holes in the pumpkin with. If you can make holes in the pumpkin, you can kill someone with it…really easily.
I hope some of that helps. I’d be glad to meet up with you and your friends one day and teach you some stuff when I’m in town, if you’d like.”
And that was that… I may find myself at a gun range for the first time!
Hopefully you enjoyed this information! I put some relevant images below… Just for fun.
Thank you for reading… 🙂